I slipped away, and came back, rebirth into a foreign world. Suddenly, the way I treated people didn’t make sense. The things I was doing no longer made sense.
One month later, I have to say that this has been – so far – the most profound experience of my short life. It is so hard to explain, but this time has given me clarification I did not know or understand was possible. I feel brand new, I feel people around me. I feel love, music and life. I am not scared of death, or racing towards it in rebellion. I am just so happy to be here. This experience tore at my soul, my face, stomach, heart, bones and muscle – but it was so damn beautiful. That oblivion, the more where I came to, alone, conscious, invisible. In this isolation I felt all-knowing. It’’s not something I think I can ever explain to anyone… it is perhaps juvenile to think that this could translate into every day life. But the experience, this experience, the way I have met myself… has taught me more than I could imagine.
- 2010, an excerpt from my diary.